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Obsession of Innocence

  • Jun. 17th, 2011 at 10:22 PM

Innocence is beautiful. Nothing is expected, but 100% of all information becomes protected to your eyes. When you’re innocent they want you to see all but good, no bad. Once that bad becomes an influence, or even if your virgin eye glances at the taboo, everyone loses respect for you, you’re treated just like everyone else. You’re an adult, or trying to be at least, but you’re only 13 so you’re not going anywhere, you’re just not as special as you once were, when anybody would wipe your ass and hold you in moments of time that felt like forever.
Then being faced with what is real, aside from fantasy, you’re overwhelmed, pressured and judged for every single thing you do. You have to grow up, take responsibility, prove yourself to be something significant just so you can go to the movies with that guy you’ve been staring at all week.
When you’re innocent, you’re limitless. There are no boundaries because you don’t look for them, you’re carefree and your imaginative consciousness is your playground.
Innocence to me is magic. Even in high school, the entire four years I was a virgin. Once I lost it with Jewls, I felt older, but in that “oh yeah look at me mentality”. It wasn’t until the start of my sophomore year in college, that things made a turn. After that time span, I had cheated for the first time, had sex with two people, was close to a minor, I couldn’t stop feeding on all of this…evil.
Don’t get me wrong, for those who don’t know if done the right way, sex is amazing. I’m talking about being with that one person you’ve always wanted, with bodies pressed perfectly, rhythmically connecting to every single nerve in your body as you respond to every motion making eye contact with each other. Yes it sounds cliché, but once you experience that moment you can’t say anything, and your entire innocence is gone and sent through their eyes.

Making you theirs until they are done with you.
Innocence is almost like ignorance, because you are clouded with what truth is outside of your perfect world. It’s like a lack of experience that takes time. That is what I hate the most about innocence, it is not permanent. That is my biggest reason on why I’m obsessed with innocence, it can fade away.
Guess that is why I obsess over love, that can fade to, but it can blossom into something beautiful; self love, or realizing that the dick who left you, wasn’t worth your time. Innocence doesn’t give you that.
Innocence inspires you. It’s what starts us to wonder what’s out there. We just make the mistake that innocence is primitive, when in fact, It’s one of the most beautiful things in the world.
I’d do anything to have innocence back just for a moment


Lauren Elizabeth

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