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holy beef...not cow

  • May. 3rd, 2009 at 11:41 PM

So as I am procrastinating on two very important papers, one ten the other six, with the other amount of three very challenging exams for me. I just have to speak out on here. I'm sure no one really uses this anymore, so I feel safe to just spill out whats on my mind.

I've learned so much this year.

The first thing I've learned is that it is perfectly ok to keep your guard up, because in the end it has the possibility to end horribly. And to leave you 1500 dollars deeper in debt than you already are.

I have learned that it is ok to stand for what I believe in, even though its still slightly difficult. Knowing that I have the option is still somewhat of a bonus. I'm hoping the things I've been doing will give me strength.

I have learned that I probably value life more than any other person in the world. Seeing someone almost go before my eyes multiple times and just coming out of deepest depression in my life has uplifted me and made me more confident.

I accept my body. I know it can be changed but I gained weight because I was happy and I'm not gonna hate one bit.

I have learned that there is one girl that really loves me for who I am and who I want to be. That is my mini support system and not just because she is 5'2", but because she knows when to give me space, and when to hold me when I need it most. God I love her. I just have a big problem of consistently showing it.

I learned that I def, cannot trust everyone and I don't plan to anymore. Sometimes I can get stabbed in the back, but deep down, its ok because I no longer care on who has the little daggers in their hand. I'm more concerned of the swords that can pierce through my body and leave me breathless and unable to make it through.

I love myself. I think I'm pretty awesome, and the people who accept that are even better than me just for accepting my newly ego-centric behavior lol.

I do miss old friends, but they are not old to me, but vintage. They will never be out of style, and I can always pick up where I left off so for that I thank you.

The last thing I learned...... God does listen.
Me? Lauren Elizabeth is talking about God? yea. am I uber religious now? Fuck no. lol. I just finally have respect for him/her and see him/her as a friend. My new best friend. The best listener ever. and thats ok with me :)


___secondchance wrote:
May. 4th, 2009 12:41 pm (UTC)
I still use this! Does that make me like a complete outkast?

I feel like I can relate to a lot of these points, and I'm really glad you're finally happy again.
let7126 wrote:
Sep. 5th, 2009 02:27 pm (UTC)
Wow proves on how much I don't use it but its all good.

thank you for reading. I hope somewhere in Life you are happy too :)


Lauren Elizabeth

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